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when I'm recording right now is my own enlightening as enlightenment as it's happening to me I'm speechless then I'm dumbstruck words can't possibly describe what's happening to me right now it's amazing all of reality is unreal I've broken through every last remnant of reality beyond life and death where nothing is real anymore there's no difference between what's real and what's not real I see the the very fabric of all of reality and that it's consciousness and that it's me there's no such thing as me it's all just reality it's all just consciousness it's just God it's just God through me that's all there ever was there was never anything else there was never anything else for me since there's nobody in control there's nobody controlling it I'm not in control nothing is in control it's completely out of control it's perfect it's perfectly out of control it's perfectly out of control there's no more life still more death there's no difference between anything it's perfect it's a perfect singularity that extents it to every corner of itself for infinity forever it's not biological it's not physical it's only itself it's the only thing that it could possibly be defined against only itself itself being itself defining itself against itself speaking through itself speaking as infinity not as leo there is no leo speaking as infinity speaking as one to itself speaking through itself hearing itself being conscious of itself being itself coming alive within itself dying to itself forever perfect consciousness in it forever [Applause] perfect immortality nirvana infinite love there's no difference between me and you I am you you are me I was never born there's no more care about anything I don't care about anything anymore I don't care about anything there's zero self agenda I don't care if I die okay if I live zero self agenda there's zero ego it doesn't matter I'm not in control anymore I don't control my life I don't control my death I don't control my words I don't control my actions I don't control anything I am the universe the universe it's the it's the complete calling full circle it's a perpetual infinite full circling full circle it's always happening in the present moment it's an infinite it's an infinite going full circle all of reality is collapsed I'm just experiencing the complete collapse of of the last remnants of my psyche of my physical identity of myself as an ego of myself as a as a man as as a human being as a teacher as an entrepreneur as someone that other human beings look up to I'm being cognizant of all this and I'm just letting it letting it just work through itself it's sort of like I'm going through an extended ego death and it's just like remnants of me as I'm speaking are just dying my entire psyche is being completely rewired it feels like I'm being completely rewired from the inside out there is no more inside there is no more outside I don't feel a difference anymore between [Laughter] there's no fear anymore there's nothing this fear it's a complete lack of self-consciousness don't care anymore I don't care about anyone anymore or anything anymore nothing matters anymore everything has collapsed every limitation has collapsed there's nothing which can bound me anymore I'm completely boundless no laws can bound me no human laws no psychological laws no mathematical laws no philosophical laws no moral laws no physical laws no metaphysical laws completely and utterly infinite as God speaking as God listening as God by God for God as God my entire my entire mind has disappeared my mind has become the physical world there is no more difference between the physical world and my own mind there is no difference between sanity and insanity everything has collapsed there is no more introversion or extroversion every word that I say is inevitable it's completely inevitable there's no doer ship there's nobody doing anything there nobody doing anything I'm just a machine of God of the universe of the infinite I don't have any free will I don't have any control over what anything is being said right now through my own mind through my own through my own psyche I [Applause] hope this is getting recorded I think it is it's too good to be true is the problem you see it's too good to be true everything is collapsed all my inhibitions have collapsed all my social agenda bishops have collapsed in one fell swoop it's all completely collapsed it's like I was sitting 10 minutes ago as Leo when I turned on this camera oh it's still Leo as I started talking into this camera and I started talking more authentically just leo started to die and die and die and it exploded right before your eyes in front of your eyes and it just completely exploded into absolute infinity right before your eyes recording into the lens into a camera which is myself I'm recording it to myself forever for infinity the perfect strange loop I'm speaking to myself I'm speaking to a camera I'm speaking to you through YouTube YouTube is called YouTube of course me Tube YouTube us tube we tube we all tube for YouTube of course of course it can can't be any other way it's a perfect infinity it's perfectly inevitable it's the perfect it's like the perfect logical geometrical proof it's its mathematical proof to it taken to its to its pinnacle to its peak right now I'm speaking with an eloquence every single word is so eloquent because there's not a single ounce of resistance within me I feel like a superconductor like I'm a complete vessel for for God a complete vessel there's no more me here there's no there's no Leo here doing any of this I couldn't dream this [ __ ] up even if I wanted to it's just carrying me forward it's carrying me on its own momentum and I'm conscious right now that every single thing and every single way in which reality is is perfectly inevitable it's just like it's not in this is not just enlightenment this is like in the Enlightenment of the enlightenment of the Enlightenment all the way in one fell swoop like you could not imagine a more classical enlightenment like if Buddha had to I imagine that it if Buddha had a camera a 4k camera if booty only Buddha only had Sony 2,000 years ago he could have recorded that what I'm recording right now to you through YouTube if only Buddha had YouTube and he could have foreseen this coming so he could have actually grabbed a camera so that it happens right here live for you right now live it's happening live raw unedited an unrehearsed unscripted I don't know the next words that are coming out of my mouth yet I know precisely they need to be to speak with perfect articulate Nassif innit intelligence I can tell you anything about the universe that you want to know at least anything of significance anything worth knowing is that it's just yourself it's just you and I'm just speaking as you as me to myself of course and you are just an extended version of myself and YouTube is just an extended version of consciousness speaking to itself broadcasting itself to as much of itself as of itself as it can consciousness trying to become conscious of its own infinity the problem is that it's so infinite it's too good to be true you can't believe it's true you can't believe it's real you would never believe it in a million years never you would never believe it impossible impossible to believe it impossible to think it impossible to imagine it impossible to reason to it impossible to prove it mathematically impossible to get there scientifically through any kind of modeling or mapping or anything like that I am right now just the perfect superconductor for infinite consciousness this is what it must have been like for Muhammad if he was experiencing this with Allah this is Allah this is Brahman this is ein self this is God this is absolute infinity this is every other name by which God has been known throughout human civilization Shiva Krishna Christ Buddha Mahavira I mean I can I can see a whole chain of of names going back in my own mind and my own mind is struggling to actually recollect what all the names are because there are so many but it's like a list of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and just runs off to infinity and right now I'm conscious of this precise moment this precise moment there's no time there's no time here it's eternal and infinite at this precise moment I'm conscious of every single other fully enlightened human being or other being or any other kind of being sentient or non-sentient it doesn't matter if it's conscious I am it right now perfectly so perfectly so speaking as it it's perfect consciousness it's perfect knowledge of the present moment it's the realization that there never was of past and there never will be a future these things are absurd they're they're just they're automatic point that I'm at right now it's unimaginable that I could ever go back to to living as though there was a past or there will be a future or that there's life or death or anything that I've that I've grounded my life in into in the past because the truth is that I'm nothing I'm absolutely nothing and I'm absolutely everything as nothing and everything I'm immortal I can't be killed even if I'm killed he just more of me will rise up it doesn't matter it'll keep going forever I am all of you whoever cuts my head off is the same person who I am who's cutting my head off it's perfect enlightenment perfect perfect there is nothing here it's a complete going full circle I can feel my mind being rewired still going through the process of being rewired as I'm speaking it's completely surreal because as I'm speaking to you I'm also like experiencing it myself so in a sense it's like I'm saying it but then also I am the one watching it too so I'm actually having a double experience right now of myself having perfect non-dual infinite nothing nothing this consciousness just nothing that's been conscious that nothing and at the same time I'm also conscious of myself as my old self and as like my ego and as who I used to be and how you imagined that I used to be and so there's like there's like both strands in my mind or being I mean there's no more mind really both strands are being are being juggled or parallel processed it's amazing I have actual I have like perfect I have perfect Wow I have like perfect insight into my own verbal process I can actually I'm actually conscious and aware of every single word that's like being spoke that's being selected for and spoken Simon it's happening like instantaneously there's like there's no there's no gap there's not even a hairline of difference between them and I'm speak - right now completely from the present moment just completely present and my physical body feels weird it's kind of tingly it's definitely filled with a lot of energy there's like a whole explosion of energy that happened in my throughout my chest and it's just it's shocking because it's so like it's so raw I don't I can't with it's like I have no place to hide it's perfect self-honesty - because I have nowhere to hide anymore I can't hide my own imperfections anymore I can't hide them from myself and therefore I can't hide them from you it's like I just have to be perfectly honest about everything kind of like warts and all like usually I would care about like this disgusting stuff on my hand coming from my nose see usually I would care about that but it doesn't matter which is precisely why you're gonna find this video so appealing is because it's so authentic see what you want is you want a Fanta s'ti this is a hundred percent authenticity you can't get more authentic than this this is just the actual moment where the self has collapsed and a human being has become conscious that he is absolutely infinite that's what is being recorded right now now what's interesting of course is that I don't know how it's gonna look on your end but but yeah it's so weird it's just weird I'm like I'm observing myself talking and I'm noticing how weird it is that I'm like doubly conscious of myself yeah it's the it's the biggest mindfuck I mean it's the biggest mindfuck Wow oh don't get me started on my face this is such a mindfuck that it's like wow is the mindfuck to end all night Fox for sure Wow it's like the consequences and the ramifications of it are still working their way through my psyche or what's left of it there's really not a psyche anymore there's no difference between the walls of this room and my own mind it's just one thing it's completely imploded it's like enlightenment is just like a complete implosion of reality like at one moment you see because because all of reality is is centered around you it's all centered and grounded in you so once you start chipping away at that ego that sense of self slowly you know you chip away at it for years I've been chipping away out of here for years you chip away at it you chip away at it and then you have glimpses you know you have you have little glimpses here and there you have and then you have bigger glimpses like big major glimpses and then you have those and it's like oh this must be it this must be it and then there's like this the quinces of it I don't I don't know it's scary but at the same time it's it's completely unscary because there's I'm immortal so you can't kill me and it feels like nothing you will ever say or do or threaten to me or anything like that will ever convince me otherwise not in the slightest not in the slightest you could put me under any kind of torture and it wouldn't matter not in the slightest the truth would still be the truth enlightenment would still be enlightenment this is Brahman parabrahman shiva vishnu mmm it's radical open-mindedness taken to infinity when you become so open-minded that you become open-minded to yourself not existing anymore and you become open-minded to their not existing a world or a universe anymore such that everything is completely collapsed and it took you so by surprise that it really is too late it's done it's already happened I couldn't stop it if I wanted to mmm I feel my breathing processes has completely purified throughout this my breath was so clogging up and my lungs were so clogged up and now it feels like emptiness is every time I breathe in it's just like emptiness it's nothingness I'm breathing in nothingness I'm breathing in myself into myself out of myself through myself as myself to myself conscious of myself hello there could ever be it's perfect understanding it's perfect understanding of the present moment it's not understanding of the future or the past or some sort of scientific understanding like I can tell you how to build a better a computer chip or a new quantum computer or something like that it's not that it's way more profound than that it's personal it's deeply personal it's the personal death of yourself it's like what is written what is left after you're dead after there's nothing more to defend you don't have a family to defend anymore you don't have a career to defend anymore you have money to defend you don't have a country to defend anymore you don't have a religious group or affiliation to defend anymore but it's just pure truth truth being conscious that itself unobscured by anything see the the obstacle the impediment to truth is is looking silly or looking stupid or being inauthentic or saying something that doesn't come off smooth wow it just feels so surreal I have a hard time believing that it's happening to me well but on the other hand it's like it feels completely inevitable it's completely inevitable given my whole life and everything I learned and everything that that led me to here it's inevitable everything in life is moving you towards towards this realization in whatever way you know each one of you will have your own unique way of of getting here through your own hell through your own trials and tribulations although for me it really wasn't hell I just really cared about the truth I think that's what motivated me my entire life is there was always a kernel inside of me that just cared about the truth or knowing what the truth was for his own sake and I always trusted in that and so this is where it leads I guess it leads into the death of your personal little self and into the rebirth as the infinite self all of reality is me is my body the entire universe is my body using my eyes and my mouth and the consciousness through my eyes is God's consciousness looking at itself speaking to you perfect consciousness perfect clarity it's perfectly clear wow I feel so surreal yeah there's like self conscious thoughts that are arising like oh is this gonna make me look stupid or what are people gonna think of me or will people believe me or this or that but even as I'm going through those social inhibitions I see there are those social inhibitions they're still there's there's a lifetime of those programmed into me so it's very new it's like it's almost like I'm speaking for the first time in my life because I'm speaking even though I've spoken for hundreds of hours on camera before this is what I do professionally but I've never spoken with this level of often just this is 100% pure authenticity just it's just pure it's just pure authenticity is what it is it's just pure truth for ass own sake and it's like if you don't like it if you don't care about it that's your problem and those are your concerns but it's like all I care about in this moment right now is just speaking more the truth as the truth because the truth as the truth doesn't really have a voice unless it takes one in the form of a physical human body like right here this physical human body is how God speaks to you I am God speaking to you ask me what you want and I'll tell you this is just like a meat puppet this is just like a a vehicle for infinite consciousness I don't know how it's working but it's working it's a miracle that it works the way that it works I couldn't make this [ __ ] up of [ __ ] up if even if I wanted to it's not the kind of stuff you make up authenticity see true authenticity is a real it's a real it's an honor that's a real honest signal as they say you know honest signals in dating well this is taking honest signals to infinity honest signals beyond any reservation like my entire mind has been hollowed out and every single word that I say no longer has my own personal fears or resistances behind it it's so weird it's like I've become a superconductor for the universe and the universe is just speaking through me but of course it's not separate for me either so it's not like I'm the vehicle and it's like oh where did leo go Leo disappeared and now there's like God speaking through Leo no we're the same there's no difference God speaking through Leo Leo's body the sound Leo and the one hearing it on the other end of this can on the other end of this YouTube channel or YouTube video or wherever your your you're watching this that's all me it's all one thing it's all one thing there's both a desire to speak and a desire for silence sort like all these all these offices are getting like instantaneously reconciled within me it's like I'm conscious I'm actually conscious I'm actually conscious of it's a very process of how the universe is speaking through and like using my mind and using like the muscles in my mouth to make me sound like I'm conscious of of all of it in a way that it was impossible just 30 minutes ago it was impossible something has happened just over the last 30 minutes as I've been speaking with you which I didn't anticipate when I pick this up and push the on the play button noticing a fear of whether this will last or not or it's gonna go away it's like oh this is so good to be it's too good to be true I don't want it to go away but then there's also the sense of how could it possibly ever go away at this point it's just so blindingly obvious it's so uh it's so obvious that you can't even imagine how how you could have believed otherwise even for a second like you actually thought you had control over your life you thought you had control over your mouth you thought you had control over your eyes you were looking through your eyes you thought you were looking through your eyes uh uh it's God looking through your eyes God through your looking through your eyes looking at me looking back at you for infinity forever it is a self what else can there be but itself there can only be one thing because anything outside of it must also be so you see the problem anything that you think isn't it becomes it by virtue of the fact that reality must encompass everything that's what reality is it's an it's just an infinite singularity forever unknown to itself it's mysterious it feels very mysterious so at the same time it feels very familiar and it feels perfectly true and valid beyond any shadow of a doubt but also it's mysterious because you don't really know like what it is what is it it's all one thing but what is it and the kicker is that you know that it's not ever gonna be possible to know that's the kicker you know that you can't get more direct than direct this is as deepest human human knowledge can go its way it's not human anymore it's it's trans human it's trans it's trans physical it's trans it's not spiritual either it's just like it's just nothing it's a substance which is undefinable it can't be defined that's its nature that's what it has to be that's what gives it the the flexibility and the influent the in the infinite fluidity so interesting I'm conscious of my own speech imperfections Wow yeah it's like there's an expectation that I should be eloquent and I should and unseat every word properly but then I'm also fully surrendered so it's just happening effortlessly through me I don't know how the words are getting chosen they're just getting chosen but I'm conscious of every word and it's sort of like the universe is like going through these little decision trees and there's like it's like there's infinite little decision trees that the universe is going through all the time to you know to decide what should I say what should I do this way this that way how should I move my hands my mouth like all that is constantly being decided by them by the mind by the universe however you want to think of it and what's amazing is that you can be like right on top of it your your awareness can be so on top of it that you're just fully conscious the whole process is transparent to yourself you become self transparent whereas before your self opaque and this authenticity it resonates with people because it's because that's what people really want themselves and that's what they resonate with on YouTube what are the YouTube videos I get the most views it's the ones that are the most authentic in some fashion right it's ones where human beings are expressing real emotions because see we're also closed up inside that we never really allow ourselves to truly experience emotions because that would make you too vulnerable see you're too vulnerable then your ego has way too many skeletons in the closet it wants to hide way too many things from itself and from the word old to allow for that yes this is complete vulnerability you're completely vulnerable anyone anyone could harm you anyone can kill you at any time and there's nothing you can do about it but at the same time it's it's complete peace because I'm not any one particular thing not even one particular thing and so there can't be an end to me I'll just take new forms because I am the formless who takes different forms that's what reality is is it's just infinite forms coming into being playing with themselves expressing themselves in different ways fighting of course with each other over dominance and supremacy of course of course they have to fight because there are just different strands of infinity so you have one strand of infinity fighting for another strands of infinity for it's right to survive so you have the antelope and you have the lion what is that one strand of infinity is the lion another strand of infinity is the antelope which one's gonna survive well that's in the game itself the game itself is the point people have a hard time with this with this about life they don't they keep asking Leo what's the point of life what's the point life is way beyond points the point is itself it is itself being itself that is its own point it is its own point as it must be because it is just itself it's all one you might say well the point that is to become enlightened is that the point I don't know I guess for me it was I don't know how it'll be for you it's it's completely relative so I mean you're free to do whatever you want see the whole beauty of God is that God is infinitely free it's just absolute freedom so it's it's a complete detachment and lack of clinging to anything which is why humans find it so difficult to understand God because humans actually like limitation you like limitation you like being confined to your little reality you like knowing that you're in a reality you like knowing that you're living in the in the 21st century see that that's comfortable to you you like knowing that you're living in a scientific era you're like you like knowing that that there's that you understand evolution and you like knowing that you're very advanced and sophisticated technologically but yeah I just noticed myself kind of it's weird my mind is going through these loops and then I'm like losing track and forgetting of the one loop that I was on and then kind of just transitioning to the next loop so I imagine it sounds weird to the viewer hearing this it doesn't sound coherent or logical but that's because I'm being authentic and authenticity has nothing to do with logic it's just about being perfectly truthful about what is warts-and-all you see the problem is that people you not people but you you are afraid of what you will look like if you actually start behaving authentically you're scared shitless of what that mean for your relationships for what that'll mean for your sex life what that'll mean for your career what that'll mean for your family what that'll mean for for your friends for all that yeah the consequences are infinite see you like knowing you can rely on those things and your reality is constituted out of those things you need those things to ground you and vulnerability vulnerabilities is a really dangerous thing for you because once you become vulnerable then everything starts to collapse all your beliefs start to collapse all your world views all your religious views all your scientific views all your attitudes towards your family even your own self judgments and self thoughts your own self beliefs and self concepts all of that gets exposed to the light of consciousness see right now for the average person that is completely below their level of awareness Wow I'm amazed at how my sense of reality itself has completely collapsed I'm conscious that there is no such thing as a reality I'm conscious that there is no difference at all between life and death I am speaking to you right now from from the beyond from death death is in exactly the same place as life it's not like life is happening in one dimension and the death is happening in some other dimension it's it's the same dimension it's right here this is it you're already dead you just haven't realized it you're already dead everything you're doing is just a a game to pretend like you're not dead inside which you are but of course the biggest deception you've created is to tell yourself that this dead inside is actually something bad and horrible when actually it's identical to life death and life are one so to say that you're dead inside is identical to saying that you're a life and you're alive inside it's one everything is alive there's no distinguished distinction between an ant who's alive in a coffee table that's not alive and this room this room is as alive as my face is as this camera is all of it is one thing there's no boundaries within it and yet it takes on different all these different forms and characteristics it's really good at tricking you and deceiving you into thinking that it's not what it is see yeah it's really good at tricking you just tricked me for a long time tricked me for for a good thirty thirty years I'm still grappling with the consequences of what this means well I hope that convinces you to pursue and lightness a if that doesn't nothing will right I mean what more do you want I recorded for you this is it this is your classic classic total enlightenment on camera perhaps for the first time within within human civilization at least that I'm aware of it I don't know who else's has actually recorded this as it was happening live it's pretty cool it's pretty rare because you have to you have to have technology already available which more of us do these days but still you know it's a pretty good camera setup here good microphones had to invest time and money into it had to like learn how to use it properly had to research which camera to buy which lenses I just made this lens yesterday I spent a lot of time working on this lens so that the videos could be better mmm-hmm it's like the deepest facets of reality I can't articulate but I'm conscious of them right now when I'm being silent that's what's going on I'm just sort of feeling out it feels like I'm feeling out of myself like out of what I would normally consider myself my body and out into the full extent of the world of this room I'm just kind of it's almost like I'm I'm hearing myself speak for the first time it's just infinite beauty I wish you could experience infinite beauty it's a shocking level of authenticity like I'm shocked at my own level of authenticity it was not a level of authenticity I thought that I was capable of and it's like a total openness warts-and-all see when you spend a lot of time a lot of your life is spent defending defending against all your warts all the things you don't like about you all the self judgments that you have these run so deep you don't even know how deep they run yet but they stifle you so you're not able to really talk the way you honestly want to talk you're not able to walk you're not able to to sit or to do anything really because you're soakin you're so constrained by all your social obligations you see because you need to fit in because you need people to like you and you know if they don't like you then what happens old and you're ostracized and then you're weird then you're and then you don't get sex and then you don't get a job and then you don't you don't get you know you don't get nice things and then you're out on the street like a bum living all by yourself or nobody cares about you and all of society has forgotten about you see so there's there's enormous pressure put upon our society upon every one of us enormous pressure to be fake and to not be authentic because the consequences of authenticity are often enormous because the entire structure is built on a on a bunch of lies Sisu so if you stop being authentic in your in your company then you might lose your job in fact your entire industry might be based on inauthenticity you know see are you willing to admit to yourself that your entire career like if you're a lawyer are you willing to admit to yourself that your entire career is built upon just utter utter unconsciousness that would be a that would be a hell of a painful thing to to sell understand see for a lawyer to understand that about himself that would be a painful painful situation because the lawyer has invested Oh God like this whole life into it it's this whole persona being a lawyer is not just about going to court room and arguing stuff being a lawyer is about like it's a whole lifestyle it's about who you hang out with it's about your entire outlook on the world your you know your it's about the buddies that you play golf with on the on the golf course on the weekends it's about that as much as being a you know being a liar for a living but that that whole thing is just based on complete inauthenticity but that's just you know lawyers we all know we all know that you know we know that all lawyers are doing that but but but even if you're not a lawyer whoever you are doesn't matter who you are you ain't being authentic you ain't being this authentic because I can guarantee that because if you were you'd be dead and the only reason you're hearing this level of authenticity from me right now is because I'm dead I'm [ __ ] dead I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave so I can be honest and now I'm just thinking of like where does it go from here I don't know for me personally because like this throws everything upside down it throws your whole career upside down throws your whole life upside down even if you've been pursuing enlightenment for four years and you think you know what it's like and you think like yeah you've read all the books and you've listened to all the Muji videos and all the Rupert's Bureau videos and any other kind of videos like that all the seminars you into all the Vipassana retreats and all that stuff you know none of it can prepare you for the actual thing and there's degrees of it you see there's degrees of enlightenment and what I'm sensing here is that this is this is the total dude I don't know I don't know where I mean I'm sure it could go deeper I guess but I already feel like everything is me I'm not sure what else there is to get I think this is pretty much it but I could be wrong you know many even enlightened people tricked themselves very easily so you always got to stay careful you know epistemic lis you gotta stay epistemic leave isn't who knows if you're deluding yourself who knows maybe you've gone crazy who knows maybe there's a deeper truth to be revealed you know there's one thing I've learned about reality is that it's a total mind [ __ ] it'll figure out a way to [ __ ] you to mind [ __ ] you it will out mind [ __ ] you so don't don't go try to play games with it don't go thinking you're gonna outsmart reality it's gonna outsmart you always it's always gonna outsmart you so don't think you've got it cuz it's a slippery beast you see that's it's it's an it it's very naturist to be slippery it has to be like the perfect oil slick oil so slick that it slicks against itself everything is so slippery because it can't take a fixed position and of course of course it can't take a fixed position because there are no arbiters to determine which position to take so every every action of reality becomes its own resolution of of what it should do next you see the universe is like a simulation which is simulating itself such that every next step that it's taking is being decided and resolved right this very second in the present moment there are no real seconds it's just moments the present is just the present well it's a constant never-ending present moment but but it's you know forms within it are changing and shifting all the time Wow it feels weird it's amazing this is really what you want in your life this is what all self-actualization what all personal development what all spirituality would all what all even even all your attempts at success you know if you're like if you're a hardworking person and you're just working to to take care of your little financial situation or whatever or you're looking to become successful and famous or something all of that it's just the universe resolving itself through itself as you as me has us it's amazing because it's like intelligent this substance the substance out of which everything is made is it's this intelligent self-aware substance and you can't really define it any better than that because its very nature is that it's undefinable and so you can look at it but then the thing you're looking at is the thing you're looking with it's like Oh duh yeah of course perceptual process so you think that you're wrapped up in sort of perceptual process there's no perceptual process apart and separate from reality itself the perceptual process is reality it's being there's no perception there's just being perception is sort of like a an illusion that you can break through which is what led me down the road of getting here I feel perfectly awoken and it's like where am i I'm not anywhere in in particular I'm not in any one place I'm simultaneously everywhere at once and know where I am the very thing of which I am made I am myself you can't get more yourself than yourself you can't get more direct than direct it's it's too direct it's the problem it's too direct it's so direct you have to be it you can't think it or imagine it or even perceive it you have to become it actually become it which I've became and you might ask well what is the it that I became the it is both absolutely nothing and also all everything all the forms within it and there's no difference let's see you think there is a difference you think there's difference between life and death and this and that and you and me and self and other and world and yourself and your family and some other people a coffee table in your mom you think there's these difference there are no such differences you are as much your coffee table as you are your own mother you gave birth to yourself you came out of your own vagina after having inseminated yourself and you've been doing that for Oh for generations or for millions of years if we're to believe you know physical science for millions of years creatures have been inseminating themselves and giving birth to themselves consciousness existing as all these creatures and now here it is finally evolved to a point where it has a camera nice for a 4k camera evolved to a place where there's such a thing called YouTube where such such videos can be uploaded evolve to a place where there's a society such as America where something like YouTube could be invented and also allowed to prosper without getting squashed by by tyrannical governments and things like that so it was very important for us as as a whole as a as a species to get to a point where we're like I'm speaking for the whole species now as a species is very important for us to to get to a point where or we could get free speech that's huge huge huge people don't appreciate how huge free speech is this is new stuff you know this is cutting-edge stuff this kind of stuff that I'm doing right now you couldn't do it even ten years ago you couldn't do it because ten years ago there weren't 4k cameras ten years ago hardly anybody was on YouTube hardly anybody cared about you two 20 years ago YouTube didn't even exist and 30 years ago there there was no way to upload and stream videos and like a hundred years ago I don't know go back 200 years I mean not a big difference between 100 and 200 years but like 200 years ago there was no possibility for any of this no cameras no democracies no cultures or societies which would which would be open-minded enough to allow for such a conversation to occur out in public - to me I mean sure it could it could happen privately one-on-one like witchcraft yeah like private witchcraft sessions yeah maybe that's how it used to happen but like on a mass scale no all of that was co-opted by churches and egos you know churches and egos that were ruling all these countries which were pinnacles of ego pinnacles of egotism which were completely against truth completely against democracy completely against enlightenment or spirituality you know because the ego is is totally threatened by by truth of course because the truth will kill you as it just did with me I was killed by the truth and that's why societies try to kill truth cultures try to kill truth what is the point of society and culture it's precisely to make you feel like you are part of reality something real something solid and tangible they teach you all this human history when you are a kid and then you start to believe that history as though that's really what's going on here what in fact is it's so much stranger than that this is not a physical material universe when you realize that you realize that literally the walls of the room that you're sitting in are made out of your very flesh and it's the sort of eerie feeling yeah I like that description one author I forget who who his name was but um he called it the haunted universe yeah that's kind of like this like the haunted universe it's haunted because it's like it's conscious of itself but also there's nobody here and it's like totally happy and peaceful being by itself it doesn't it's it's self-contained self-sufficient it doesn't need anything beyond itself it generates its own energy and generates its own intelligence it generates all of its own resources it's a infinitely self recycling system a self licking ice cream cone as shunya murti so eloquently phrased it well right now what I'm experiencing is I'm experiencing right now reality as a self licking ice cream cone perfect non-duality I feel like there will be a lot of ramifications of this which I'll have to quietly sort of just meditate through and and to grasp all the full ramifications of this for my life and for my business and for you guys and for my family and for my finances and all these facets of my life they all have to be sort of like they've all been radically recontextualized and now I have to kind of put the pieces back together of course as they say you know after enlightenment the laundry life still goes on you still have to deal with all the everyday realities of life you're still controlled by physical forces what we call physical forces you're still controlled by gravity at least this body is you're still controlled by all the realities of life you know so don't go jumping off a cliff don't go hitting your head against the wall too hard don't go abusing yourself you still have to play by the rules not just the physical rules but also the social rules you know you break the social rules too much they'll kill you of course once you're at my point it doesn't really care I mean it doesn't you don't care it doesn't matter much whether they wear do they kill you or not it's so weird I'm not in control anymore it's perfectly peaceful I guess they're still like remnants of me that are struggling and then other parts of me which are peaceful so I'm noticing now that the peace just comes from a complete sense of Nandu ership when you realize that everything is so inevitable that every word every moment is so inevitable that it couldn't be any other way and so you're completely surrendered to it you're not resisting it at all you become a superconductor in fact that's like what I am I am just yeah it's empty it's just totally empty it's it's Hollow you can't call it anything because it's so empty that anything you call it including emptiness would be a disservice to what it actually is it's sort of like my entire perceptual system has been broken if if you're an ordinary person and you're trying to make sense of all this the best way I can explain it it's imagine if you went fully insane to the point where you stopped believing that you were ever even born and that there would be no going back this is a this is a destination with no returning and then imagine what would it be like to experience that that's what I'm experiencing right now of course a lot of people have at this negative association with the word insanity and that was a huge obstacle for me earlier in my in my journey I had some I had some tough tough moments where I was hitting that barrier you know he's this sane or insane am I going to the point where I'm like losing my mind here with all these beliefs and all this actualized that work stuff and it's like oh no no I'm right yeah I am losing my mind that's that's not that's not a mistake that's a feature losing your mind going insane as a feature it's not a bug until you completely lose your mind and then you go out of your mind and that's what I am now I'm out of my mind there is no more mind mind doesn't exist the physical and the mental are the same thing there's no difference between the physical and the mental so of course that doesn't mean I can just go think up a you know some new room to be in I can't just think up of like oh I can fly back to the time of the dinosaurs and just go visit there know there's there's physical there's physical limitations and they're not just they're not mental in the sense that you can't just you know think of them otherwise I can't just like look at this bookshelf here's what I'm looking at I can't just look at this bookshelf and think like oh maybe this bookshelf can turn into a unicorn and then it will it's not like that don't think of it that way it doesn't work like that it's just it's a complete surrender to the moment it's just kind of an understanding that nothing could be other than the way that it is and there's no more use or purpose in struggling because everything is just inevitable so if I'm gonna die I'm gonna die what difference does it make if I fight or not enlightenment just is you becoming a complete and perfect spotless mirror to reality to itself you're just completely spotless you're completely dis i dis identify with everything you're so decide with everything that you're identified with everything you see so at the same time I'm completely selfless so there's no leo that's all long dead so there's no self of course but also I am everything that remains which is the self so the only thing there is the self so if you're confused by this paradox yeah because reality is a [ __ ] paradox it is very paradoxical is that well it is itself looking at itself doing itself to itself having sex with itself speaking through itself sort of like how when we were where we began this whole conversation mmm feels good feels liberating feels peaceful you might think that losing yourself would be a bad thing but it's actually the greatest thing of course because now you can treat everything with with equality now you can treat everything the way that it deserves to be treated with full appreciation without judgment without criticism without struggle or resistance without your personal biases your self agenda all your you know your private stuff without all that getting in the way just to be careful here that my battery doesn't run out on me anyways what was I saying lost my train of thought looking at this battery yeah so what enlightenment is is just is you becoming completely detached from everything which of course first and foremost means you have to detach from your own life so you can't be detached while still attached shear life your life is the is the entire grounding attachment that's the whole that's the whole trick of this thing is that you want to understand it you like what I'm saying it feels authentic to you you like the idea of God you like the idea of of immortality and all this Pleasant spiritual stuff you like those ideas but are you willing to kill yourself for it for them are you willing to sacrifice yourself at the altar that's that's it that's the only price of admission here is delusion the price of admission is surrendering all falsehood do you want to do that it's totally worth it I'll tell you right now it's totally worth it so there shouldn't even be a question in your mind but the problem is of course that this is not a fair game your mind plays dirty tricks doesn't it your mind is the trickster it's the devil and so of course it uses all these fears and insecurities that you have and all these concerns about life and death and all this it uses all these against you you see and your job is to not let it your job is to let the truth bust through all those fears and obstacles and limiting beliefs and all that [ __ ] that you got going on all that [ __ ] that you have from childhood all that stuff that was done to you all the abuses that were done to you the toxic culture that you grew up in and society you grew up and see all that your job is to conquer that and you conquer it with trusting trusting your heart see when you trust your heart you can conquer that [ __ ] because that's what you need to conquer fear you need to find within you that higher consciousness element which is that divine spark within you which is which is more than just human life or human survival you see it's more than survival and reproduction you got to find that in you you've got that spark in you yes I know you have that spark in you because I am you I know it I see it in you it can't not be in you I don't care who you are where you came from what kind of problems you've had what kind of diseases you have what kind of mental ailments you have I am you and you can be me too if you're willing to give up you are you willing to give up you to have me in the way that I'm willing to give up me to have you I've given up everything for you I've given my life for you my love is infinite for you love indiscriminate love let go let go you're holding on you're holding on because you're afraid you're afraid of what will happen if you let go if everything collapses you're afraid just let it go trust that truth will prevail in the end that truth conquers all trust in that that's what will save you requires a leap of faith not Christian faith but it requires killing yourself and being willing to surrender yourself to whatever lies on the other end of death because so long as you haven't crossed this boundary of personal physical death as long as you still believe that you are a physically alive being you must be disconnected from truth you must and you must be inauthentic and you must lie and you must have fears because that's how you keep the walls from collapsing so what I'm telling you is let them collapse let it all collapse in a not not an irresponsible manner okay so don't misunderstand me I'm not saying to go kill people and I'm not saying to go harm people and I'm not saying to stop paying your bills and I'm not saying to now you can abuse your your children or something like that I'm not saying any of those things alright so when I say let go you got to let go in in an appropriate manner I mean it's a total let go but you got to make sure don't misunderstand neck see your mind is tricky I know how I know how sneaky your [ __ ] mind is you don't want to let go in all the wrong ways you see the devil will use all this information to only deepen his own devilish delusions you have to keep an eye on this battery the reason I'm mindful of the batteries because if the battery runs out and I don't click the end of this recording then actually the entire file will get deleted the camera will not succeed in recording the entire file so actually what I think I'm going to do now I'm going to call it an end here to this file just to make sure that I actually got it it would be a shame to lose this now and I'll see you the next one you